Hello! I’m Farhana…
…I’m the UK’s first Divorce Doula, an author, and the founder of My Divorce Doula.
I work with women going through separation and divorce who are tired of second-guessing themselves.
The conversation with your ex that you replay all night. The email you draft five times before sending. The numbers you keep going over because you’re frightened of making the wrong decision. Saying yes when you want to say no. Putting off decisions because you’re waiting to feel certain.
That’s the part of divorce I help with.
I give you somewhere to do the thinking before the difficult conversation. To work out what you actually want. To separate fear from fact. To prepare for the decisions ahead so you can walk into conversations with your ex, mediator or solicitor calmer, clearer and knowing what you want to say.
I don’t help women get divorced. I help women get out of limbo.
Because waiting is a decision too. And it has a cost.
Why Work with Me?
Because knowing what you should do and being able to do it when emotions are running high are two very different things.
You might be perfectly capable at work, with your children and in every other part of your life — then one message from your ex leaves you angry, frightened or questioning everything.
That’s where I come in.
We slow the situation down. We work out what actually needs your attention, what you want, what you’re afraid of and what conversation needs to happen next.
So instead of reacting in the moment, avoiding the conversation or agreeing to something you later regret, you can respond deliberately.
You still make the decisions. I help you get clear enough to make them.
The Doula Difference
Think of me as the big sister you wish you had through divorce.
Someone who’s been there, understands the territory and gives you a place to think things through.
We can get practical about what’s happening now: the conversation you need to have, the email you don’t know how to answer, preparing for mediation, working out what matters to you before you agree to something, or simply having somewhere to put everything that’s going round in your head.
I won’t tell you what to do. But you don’t have to work it all out on your own.
But divorce isn’t only about getting through the process. We also talk about what happens next.
Where you’ll live. What you want your days to look like. Who you are when you’re no longer making every decision around your marriage. What you want more of. What you’re ready to stop putting off.
I’ve been through divorce myself. I know what it’s like to make those decisions while raising children, working and trying to keep ordinary life going.
My Story
I was married for 15 years. When my marriage ended, I had three young children and no idea what our lives were going to look like.
As a British Bangladeshi woman, divorce carried another layer. I worried about the shame, what people would think, what it would mean for my children and whether I could build a secure life for us on my own. I wasn’t sleeping, I’d lost weight and my head never seemed to switch off.
There were lawyers for the legal process and people who loved me and would listen. But what I really wanted was someone who had been there. Someone I could talk to before the difficult conversation. Somewhere to think things through, get practical about what was happening now and start working out what I wanted my life to look like afterwards.
Essentially, I wanted the big sister who had been there and done it.
The support I eventually found changed the way I saw divorce — and what I believed was possible for my life. I reclaimed my birth name, Farhana, rebuilt my life and began making decisions based on what I actually wanted rather than what I thought I should do.
And I realised there was a gap in the way we support people through divorce.
That gap became My Divorce Doula.
Today, I offer the support I went looking for myself: a place to think things through, prepare for what’s coming and get practical about now and the future.
Divorce changed my life. But it didn’t get to decide what my life became. I did.
What I Do
My clients have called me a ‘fairy godmother,’ ‘big sister,’ and strategist
Call me what you want, but here’s the deal: I’m in your corner, I’ve got your back, and I’m your biggest champion. I offer bespoke, one-on-one support and group programmes to guide you through everything from the legal maze to deep emotional healing. Together, we’ll create a personalised plan that puts you back in the driver’s seat of your life, whether you’re just starting out or facing the long-term challenges of co-parenting.
Why Emotional Support Matters
Divorce isn’t just a legal process. It impacts every area of your life from relationships, finances, career, home to well-being.
If not handled with care, it can derail your life. That’s why emotional support isn’t just important, it’s essential. It streamlines the cost of divorce, financially and emotionally. When emotions run the show, you’re stuck in survival mode, stressed, overthinking, and struggling to make clear decisions.
That’s where I come in. I help you stay grounded and think clearly, so your decisions are made from a place of power. I specialise in helping you create a clear vision for life beyond divorce, covering family, finances, and personal well-being.
This isn’t therapy or legal advice, it’s real, actionable support that empowers you to steer your divorce process with confidence and lay the foundation for a life you’ll love.